Emerging from the Chrysalis

Not quite a butterfly, but no longer a caterpillar.

If all the worlds a stage,the what does that make me?
Am I just a best boy or a part of the scenery.
Is there something more to what dear Will was saying?
How am I to know what role I am to be playing?
Do I get a choice in what I say and do?
Or an I just another voice in the ensemble, casted as town boy in scene two?
I’m surrounded by players masked in a disguise and much to my demise, I hear the voice in my head cry
‘If it’s just a show then how can I determine what is an act from what is real?
Do people ever say what they truly think and feel?’
Living each day according to a script. That they blindly obey page by page.
Craving the approval of an audience who will give them praise.
And with every year they age they loose their ingenuity and are lost in a haze.
Every moment of their life is choreographed and completely in sync.
But are faced with a challenge when asked to think.
If you ask how are you? They will say fine.
Once I dared to ask a player ‘Do you have a dream’
They’re eyes opened wide and they’re face looked bamboozled
They cross their arms and looked up,completely confusled
When they finally had an answer (which much to my surprise was not dancer)
They whispered ‘what’s my line’
And in this moment I knew that I could not be a player on the stage. So I jumped into the pit
(Despite my cast mates rage)
When I landed the mask I was trapped in broke free.
I could truly see the world and for the first time the world saw me.
I could shout and twirl and improvise and not care if the audience
Liked what I said or what I wear.
I became an individual, no longer a part of the ensemble of the ensemble.
I strayed away from the stage, away from the “show” away from the lights that were all aglow.
Away from the people who claimed to know what it’s like to be me.
I could no longer tolerate their hypocrisy (or idiocracy)
And so if the world is a stage, I choose not to be another puppet that is controlled.
I refuse to be told what to do to fit a role.
I will not be confined to a cage. Like Pinnochio.
I found my own light hidden deep in my soul.
And every moment in my life moving forward,
I will take my pen
And I will write every page of the show of my own life.

I’ve conformed to society

Despite the smile on my face, all I feel inside is disgrace.

This new chapter in life, which is supposed to be the path of “stability”, free of sorrow or pain. Leaves me feeling constrained by chains. Chains which have stuck me to a tight rope. Making me watch each step, and keep my balance. All in the hope that I won’t fall on my face, and have to learn from any mistakes. 

But, what if I could jump? What if I could fly? Fly up high and just wave goodbye to all my worries. Of course what goes up, must come down. So I may fall on my face? And who cares? Because I’ll have ended up in a new place and learned from my mistakes.  But in that moment I’ll have known what it is like to fly. I won’t have to worry what will happen if I fall, because I will know how to get back up.  Then I’ll fly even higher and learn how to land on my feet. After of course I’ve fallen on my butt and head. But at least I know I wont be dead. Not the kind of dead when you’re gone and end up who knows where. But how can you say you’re really alive, when you’ve never taken the chance to fly?

This smile I wear, is not of pride. But of despair.  Despair in the fact that I know that I have now sold my soul. To everything, just 30 hours ago, I would scoff at. This fib I have been told every single day. To which I have patronized in an infinite number of ways.  This fantasy you call a “Dream” is nothing but a hoopla of lies. Because how can you really be free, when you’re bounded to a thousand ties. Ties to which have formed a rope that lead into a spool. Which wraps around the finger of the greater one’s in control. Who use you as a tool when they’re off having fun. Out one the greens where the only shouts you’ll hear is “there goes a whole in one.”

 A mortgage, insurance, and debts to pay. All because you liked the sound of those two words “Pay Day”. This may be what you call free, but can a bird really be free when it can only fly to the sky, but not to the moon?

The moon. That’s where I would rather be. Far from earth, far from here. Where life can be seemless and I can have no fear. 

No fear of chaos caused by the greed and ego of human strife. Free from the expectations of how others see me and think I should live my life.  Where I can live as I want, and aspire to be so much more than just a wife. 

In a shot matter of 12 hours I betrayed my beliefs and conformed to society. And all for what? The approval of another person. On the moon if would just be me. Free of judgement from society. 


Let’s be having you world. You’re mine <3.x


Let’s be having you world. You’re mine <3.x


The Power of Love

“Stand by my side, there’s nothing to hide. Together we’ll fight to the end.”

I used to know all of the words to this song! This was my favorite movie in first grade! <3

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